I love playing card games. More than the winning or gambling part, it’s on how you can increase your chances by using physical movements and actions even with the worst set of hands you have. I wonder if psychologist would be good poker players.
There are many ways to get some edge. There are physical and verbal. On discussions, the verbal part is the most important. By the words you use, people will judge both your points and your personality. It can either make or break you. And if you want to end up broke, here are some of the worst way you can do when you talk.
- Shoving ideas down people’s throats. You don’t force people to change their thoughts about something. You can only showcase and tell stories behind what you believe in may it be about sports, consumable products, advocacy, faith or the lack of it, or anything. While you may have the best argument about your preferences, you still have to be aware that people choose what they want, where their passion are and what they truly understand. The last one is your biggest chance of making them give a second look at what you offer.
- “Just saying”, “I don’t want to offend”, “it’s just my opinion”. These words. People who use these obviously know they are offending but just want to look clean to avoid retaliation by adding their disclaimer. Those who say these words after saying their own piece and blatantly criticizing others are cowards.
- Assuming that one person is siding on the opposite of what you believe in when he criticizes yours. Most problems in the world are caused by this illusion of having to choose only between two sides. By limiting your options and your view, you’re also losing the opportunity to pick a better one.
- Using the “no one’s perfect” and “don’t judge” cards unnecessarily. I’m sure there are those few arguments where you can validly use these but using it often to defend something without categorically answering allegations and criticisms shows your lack of knowledge of the subject.
Unfortunately, there are still those who think that these ways are effective and valid and many like-minded people will even approve it. If it happens that you are in a middle of an argument and one person suddenly use one of these strategies, stay away. Or if you can’t, tell them that what they think about your idea is not what it really is. Ask them not to judge as no one is perfect. Then tell them that you are only after what is good so if they disagree with you, that means they are supporting what is bad. Then ask them to change their way of thinking and start to think like you. Then tell them that you’re not trying to offend them, you’re just saying it. Then observe their faces if you can. But no, just stay away from them. Most of the time, these people are just trying to make it look that they know what they are saying. Truth is, they are bluffing.