Era of “Modern Women” is the Wimpy Men’s Paradise

Ever since, I never was popular with the women. Especially during high school days, I was mostly viewed as the “best friend” type for the girls. Friendzoned – as what the current young ones use to call it. And some other time I was looked at by other girls as a bit “effeminate”.  Maybe it was due to my closeness with my mom that I had been mimicking her actions unconsciously. Though not to boast but I am aware that there were also those who had crushes on me. But that’s just it. 



I’m not like my other guy friends who were counting girlfriends and flings around the campus. It’s not that I didn’t get attracted to the pretty ladies. I had lots of crushes actually.  And I did get some bit of courage to send cheap gifts, wrote letters and had phone calls with some of them. But I did it inconsistently and poorly. I didn’t even know what to tell them. And atop of not knowing what to do was my awareness that I wasn’t ready then to be in a relationship because first reason was I didn’t have time yet. Second was I didn’t have money. I always thought that to have a girlfriend means giving up lots of time for her and then spending for weekly dates. My daily allowance was enough for a single decent meal and a 2-way transportation fare and I was also not allowed to be outside our house after 7pm. 

My daily allowance in high school.

Doing a little analysis, courage wasn’t really my issues then. It was my readiness. I was also not looking to have relationships just for the sake of it. I always think that to have a girlfriend means there's something with that woman that you see her as part of your future.  And that men should be working hard to show that we deserve the women’s time and attention.  And during dates, though it’s really practical now that women give their share, still the men should insist paying and even if they expect to share, men should have enough to cover all their expenses. Oh yes, I’m a bit old fashioned and traditional.

Many women of today say that they are now more “empowered” than ever. I do agree. And I also support them on this.  

Just like how courtship is an option now. Many relationships simply start with an “agreement” between the two. If the guy and the girl like each other then that’s it. It does not even need to be personal. It can be done via sms or via social media statuses or message. And it’s not always the guys who make the first move. Many girls are now sending the first “feelers” to the guys that they like.  And for some modern women, it’s normal. And gone were the days of the well covered women. Peeping-toms ran out of business because now everyone can be like them without doing much effort. Skins are showing everywhere.  

Casual dress of today are smaller than the swimsuits of the past (photo credit: debyclark.blogspot.com)

 

Men can also throw responsibility out of the window. They can do almost everything now since many women feel that they too can “cooperate” with men in avoiding from being accountable in what they do. Premarital sex is now ok to both sexes since contraceptives are always available for them. And there are women who volunteer to do it themselves so they can also enjoy their life without the consequences. And the guys don’t need to worry anymore about getting them impregnated. Second thoughts are unnecessary.

Though there are still a lot of women (and men) who don’t act that way. But there are really those who believe in such kind of “empowerment”.  For them, it’s all about their choice. It is about choosing their preferred lifestyle, their actions, how they talk and they dress, etc. I got no problem with that. I am just wondering if it’s them that is being empowered or is it the other way around. It’s because rather than making lives easier for the girls, it seems that it’s the boys who are enjoying the show more.

By changing the norms, men can get things easier now. No need to make lots of effort. No more courtships. No need for waiting. And sometimes, no need to respect and treat women as women. Many men see having “relationships” as a game since there’s no need of seriousness now as they can get in and out of it instantly. They can score more since the defense is down, and that basically, the other side is also doing more on the offense if we are to use basketball language here.

The wimps are really enjoying it. Just imagine if they were born during our grandpas’ generation, I doubt if they can do their thing.  These softies are lucky. Because of these modern women, everything else is easier. Gone were the days of the “alpha males” and the “loser guys”.  Every guy can now effortlessly do what the other guy on the next seat can.

I was talking about “women empowerment” but I can’t help seeing these scenarios since they are true and they are happening. But if I have to judge, I have to give it to the women of the recent past. They are far more “powerful” than their present counterparts.  Besides having to enjoy almost every right that a human being must have like in their careers, education, etc., they still had these advantages than what some of these women modernists have.   

During their time, men needed to exert themselves to win women’s hearts. The males were at their mercy and are expected to be patient and to wait for women’s decisions and timeline.  Women then talked about their selves with more respect. They never called themselves “bitches” nor being proud of it. Unlike now where “proud bitches” are around.  And objectification of women is now the in thing among celebrities. To be on top of men’s fantasies is a dream and an achievement. Compare this before that a simple “whistle” towards the females was considered offensive. And we now dance to music with lyrics about “whores” and female body parts.

Oh well. I think that this is really a time when we men don’t need to be much of a man to win women’s hearts. It’s more effortless. And in general, most things that are easy to get ends up being taken for granted.

From This

Gone were the days of the authentic feminists and empowered women when Margaret Thatcher, Mother Theresa, Princess Diana, Ayn Rand, CoryAquino, Golda Meir, Oprah Winfrey and others like them were the role models of the “modern women”.  Now, we see more of the likes of Lady Gaga and Nicki Minaj in the forefront. Though there’s still hope in the likes of Zerlina Maxwell and Malala Yousafzai, admit it that they are relatively unknown compared to the two I mentioned earlier.

 

To this

It had gone notches down from a high point in the 80’s and the 90’s. So what happened to the women’s empowerment advocacy? It’s like someone hijacked it and used it to his/her own liking and interest. I’m thinking of a conspiracy here. Maybe there once were these group of wimpy young guys who were ignored by the pretty girls. They were avoided and ridiculed. No other people would make friends with them. With that, they promised among themselves that someday they would be very rich and powerful. And they will turn the tables around. Things will become easier for them. No need for them to approach the girls because they just have to go around and look around to see and get what they want. And they will create the illusion to the other gender that what they will be doing is empowering to them and that it is what they really want and while doing them unknowingly, it’s the opposite gender that will apparently benefit and enjoy all of these. So, how these guys are doing now? 

Popopopoker Face, Popopoker Face

I really don’t want to discuss about the Lady Gaga concert but since I saw a lot of reactions from both sides and noticing some people “clueless” on what the issues really are, I can’t help but try to jump in the mud and join the fray.  Well, not really. Just voicing out my opinion here. 

Straight to the point.

First, to the rallyists, I admire your courage in voicing out what you stand for. You risk (again) of being called the losers, the hypocrites, the narrow-minded, and everything else negative that the Lady Gaga fans can think of about you. In a way, I understand your point. Your protest doesn’t mean you’re saying you are innocent. You are old enough to know these things.  Your message is that you want to avoid having those “unguided youth” getting swayed easily by the bold acts of the artist on her concerts. If one had watched videos of her previous concerts, they’ll know what you’re saying.

But I hope that your attempt on preventing the “perceived negative influence” not just of Lady Gaga but of all bad elements of todays media to the youth does not end on these rallies.  Begin with the foundation of morals of the youth. Start with the most basic element of society, the family.  If a child’s moral foundation and ethics are built strongly by their parents, they won’t get swayed easily by external factors, especially by a just a 2-night concert of a famous pop artist.

And second, to the fans especially the “die-hard ones”,  I do agree with you on this: Lady Gaga is an artist and what she’s trying to do is an art.  But I hope that you refrain from giving the statement that  what she’s doing is just an expression of art and implying that everything that she’s doing there are “innocently” done. We might be born this way but we were not born yesterday.  Like what one of my Facebook pal Obed Dela Cruz mentioned on his status,that arts are messages of an artist. The products of an artist’s mind are not accidental. They are talking to us thru their works. Artists have ways of sending messages, and it’s obviously thru their art. I just hope that the parents who supports their child’s following of Lady Gaga aren’t clueless of what possibly their children can witness on her concerts (is there an age restriction for the concert? I hope so) and what messages that their children might get from supporting their “idol’s works of art”.

And also, Lady Gaga is very open with her beliefs and it’s her right to try swaying and influencing people with them. Well, it’s the same rights that the protesters have in telling people not to support Lady Gaga’s advocacy.

And lastly to Lady Gaga, I admire you for using  very well the issues and controversies to your advantage and benefit: sold-out concerts, big sales on albums, front page on news, awards, and more money.  You really had stirred the water. You know how to use your cards well with only few people noticing. That’s quite a great “pokerface”.  ;-)