There was a time that I had been so paranoid. This was when I became sickly. I was always thinking that I would die anytime soon. Then there were news about bombings everywhere. And I frequently saw those pickpockets doing their thing just in front me. One time, I was a riding a fully loaded bus from Greenhills going to Cainta. I was standing. Then I saw this short fat guy in front of me trying to take something from the bag of a lady who was standing beside him.
He noticed that I was looking at what he was doing. Another middle-aged man just beside him who I thought was with him gave me the stare trying to warn me to stay quiet. But I didn’t. I did make some noise and movements to take the attention of their prospected victim. I was successful and they were not able to take anything from the woman. And I was stupid doing that since I didn’t know who else was with them or what they might have done to me.
|Ingat sa Mandurukot|
Good thing there are other people on the bus that seemed to be vigilant as well and probably they felt that. Unsuccessful, they shouted at the driver to stop. I helped them by saying “Ma, para daw”. And they left the bus quietly but not without another stare at me while saying “wala na tayo magagawa dyan”. They were angry. And I was smiling at them while I was facing them as they walk towards the bus exit. I was also nervous since they might do something like poking me with a knife or anything to hurt me. I was prepared to defend anyway. I put my big bag in front of me and positioned my leg for a quick kick if ever they tried to go near me. But they didn’t and I was lucky. I could be dead now.
Moving forward, things didn’t change that much. I’m not that sickly anymore but I can’t say I became healthier even though I’m trying to. The news is still the same or even worse, actually. And we hear more bad elements roaming around preying on innocent people. Same stuff. Worse stuff. One thing that’s better though is I’m less paranoid. I try not to think of what might happen. I just savor and enjoy what’s happening. Since now is what’s important. Now matters. Now is real. Now is NOT the RIGHT time but it is the ONLY time. What might be is just all in the mind.