It's Official

I’m afraid of not being able to provide the needs of my family. What if my job won’t be enough? What if something bad happen to me?  What if I’m not able to give my kids proper education? What if I’m not able to feed my kids? A lot of what ifs and I really fear them. 

But the good thing about fear is that I know that I have to do something about it. I need to have contingency. I already started with the initial steps a couple of years ago. I will share with you what I did in another post and it’s more about the financial stuffs which is something we can have more control. But what about the others that are more difficult to get a hold with?

Like how our kids will behave when they grow up? Will they be strong? Will they be confident? Will they be successful? We can read a lot of advice about good parenting. But can we really follow them all and be assured of bright future for our kids? But I think the right question should be, are we parents properly equipped with knowledge and character to guide our kids grow and mature as good citizens? It’s more of who we are more than what we do which creates bigger impact to our children.

Yes, we do need it. Right, uhmm Pink Floyd?

Most of us are guilty of focusing on only one thing. Education. We’re dictated by the system or whatever that our children must do well in school because if not, they will fail in the future. We push our children too hard to become part of the honor roll and even sometimes to be the number one.  And there are instances that it becomes a competition between parents already and not among the children. It’s because for each parent, their children are the best. That’s understandable. But do the children understand the reasons why their parents are doing it? Or are they just trying too hard out of fear of being scolded? Is the simple “we’re just doing it for you” statement enough for our kids to realize why their parents do this?

It’s good to have most parents being involved with their kids’ studies. But hopefully not to the point of exhausting the child’s energy and getting fed up at the early stages of his life. Try making them realize that education is important but it is not the end of everything in their lives. And there are other things that matter more than being confident and competitive. There are all those other virtues that our children also need to learn.  

More than being the smartest in the class is how they can get along with all the other people in it.  Try to make them understand that there’s only one top student in a classroom so the odds that they will not be that person is bigger. Then letting them know that it is just fine as long as they are able to do good with their studies at the same time being respectful of their teachers and friends.  And if ever they’ll be able to get the highest award in their class, remind them that it’s also the best time for them to become the most humble.  Imagine parents and kids competing with each other but this time, trying to outdo each other in terms of virtues and character.  Everyone trying to be the most humble, oh how peaceful and delightful that competition would be.

And on the other hand, it’s official. We’ll be having a daughter before the year ends. My wife and I are so excited. Though our son is too young to be aware of his incoming sibling, we do our best to make him realize he already has a baby sister inside his mommy’s growing tummy. When we ask him “where’s your sis”, he’ll point at his mom’s belly and then kisses it.  We will be one big happy four-member family by Christmas and it would be a very merry one. And I hope and pray that we will be able to take good care of them so that they may grow as responsible people in the future.

Hurting Truth

As much as possible, I avoid trying to hurt other people. But if saying the truth will hurt, I weigh it first before telling but more often than not, I say it. Especially if hurting the concerned person by the truth will protect them from further harm.

But truth being the truth is not always necessary. In fact, there are lots of truths around us that we haven't discovered yet but here we are living off without knowing.

Truth frees and protects people. And it hurts. But sometimes, as unnecessary as it is, people utilize truths wrongly as an excuse to hurt others.

It's different between trying to help other people by stating the truth than trying to destroy someone using it. The difference between the two is the intention. The first one is mainly to tell the truth. The other one is to hurt.

Desisyon Mo ang Limitasyon Mo

Walang nakakaalam kung hanggang saan ang maaabot natin sa hinaharap. Kung gaano kataas o kababa, walang makakasabi ng eksakto. Pero ang limitasyon kung ano ang kaya nating makamit ay nasa ating kontrol. Ang limitasyon ay ang ating mag pangarap. Maaari nating hindi maabot o maaari nating lampasan pero ang lahat ng ating gagawin para sa ating kinabukasan ay nakabatay kadalasan sa kung ano ang ginusto nating maging buhay bukas.

Pangarap, pag-asa at pananampalataya ang naging puhunan ni Trish sa tagumpay

Pangarap at inspirasyon ang naging sangkalan ng pagbabago sa buhay ni Trish Matalubos. Isang babaeng mula sa malayong probinsya na nakipagsapalaran na magtrabaho bilang yaya sa Maynila na ginamit ang sipag at diskarte upang makatapos ng pag-aaral, makapagtrabaho at ngayon ay isa nang ganap na businesswoman na tumutulong di lang sa pamilya nya at kaibigan kundi sa ibang tao na nabibigyan niya rin ng hanapbuhay para abutin ang kanilang mga sariling pangarap.

--> Yaya Noon, Businesswoman na Ngayon


Sa kanyang tiwala sa sarili at sa pananampalataya sa Diyos, hindi siya kailanman nawalan ng pag-asa na hindi na siya aahon sa buhay. Alam nya na siya mismo ang unang tao na dapat magtiwala sa kanyang sarili bago ang iba. Kung siya mismo ang magmamaliit sa kanyang kakayahan, hindi niya maaabot ang kung nasaan man siya sa ngayon. 


Maraming tao ang siyang una pang nagbabagsak sa sarili sa pamamagitan ng pag-iisip na hanggang doon lang ang kanilang kaya. Marami naman ang umaasa lang sa suwerte habang hinahayaan lang ang mga pagkakataon na dumaan sa kanyang harapan. May iba naman na dinadatnan na ng suwerte ay wala pa ring kinakahinatnan dahil sa kawalan ng kahandaan sa pagdating ng tagumpay dahil hindi naman nila mismong inakala na mangyayari sa kanila ang bagay na yon. Pagmamaliit sa sarili. Yan ang kalaban ng marami sa atin ngayon. Hindi laging ang gobyerno. Hindi laging ang mga tao sa paligid natin. Hindi laging ang sitwasyon mo ngayon ang dahilan. Minsan ay sila rin naman nga talaga ang dahilan. Pero minsan, ay ikaw rin at ang pagpapababa mo sa tingin mo mismo sa iyong sarili.

Don't Seek Happiness

Happiness as a sole goal is never ideal.  Without considering other factors, it is just selfishness and will always be unreachable. It is human nature to be not contented. Maybe for  a while but after achieving something that we think makes us happy, we'll start getting used to it and its effect starts trickling down. And the hunt for happiness starts again like you never experienced it before. And it will be a vicious cycle.


The trick is to stop seeking and start looking at what you have around. See the people and the things  that keep you going. Try to look back at the young you. Remember the first time you appreciated a surprise "pasalubong" from dad? Or that day when you had your favorite sandwich made by your mom for your school "baon"?  Those are authentic "happiness" and they happened when you're not seeking for them. I'm sure that those things that will make you truly happy are still around without the need to find them. You just have to look, feel and appreciate.

Alamat ng Tsismoso't Tsismosa

Nakakainis ang mapagusapan ng ibang tao. Lalo na kung mali ang kinukwento. Tulad ng nangyari sa kin minsan na pinagbintangan akong nagnakaw ng pera ng kaklase ko nung highschool ako. Buti na lang at lumabas ang totoo. Wala man nag-sorry sa kin noon ay pinatawad ko na silang lahat. Yun nga lang, mahirap kalimutan. Pero wala sigurong tao ang kelan man hindi nagkwento patungkol sa iba. Pero hindi naman laging masamang kwento, madalas ay mabuti rin. Kahit ako ay nagagawa ko rin yun. Guilty pleasures na ata natin ang mag-kwentuhan tungkol sa ibang tao na hindi naman laging masama ang nilalaman. Pero mas mainit ang usapan kung may halong baho at mali patungkol sa iba. At minsan ang ibang yun ay tayo rin naman.

Lahat ng nilalaman ng utak ng bawat tao ay galing sa ating obserbasyon. Ang isang sanggol ay natututo sa panggagaya sa mga bagay na una nilang naririnig o nakikita. Hanggang sa tumanda tayo ay ganon pa rin naman ang proseso. Walang bagay na kinikilos natin o salitang sinasabi natin na hindi dinulot ng mga naobserbahan natin sa ating paligid.

Mula sa pagiging sanggol na ang tanging nakikita natin ay ang ating mga magulang, kapatid, lolo at lola at iba pang mga kasama sa bahay, nagkakaedad tayo at nagsisimulang maharap sa ibang tao sa paligid. Simula sa magkaroon tayo ng mga kalaro. Matututo na rin tayong manood ng tv at makinig ng radyo. Pumasok sa eskwela at matuto mula sa mga guro at makipagkulitan sa ating mga kaklase. At nagsisimula na ring magbasa ng mga libro. At marami pang libro. Mula sa pagbabasa ng mga nursery rhymes, magkakaroon na ng mga pambatang kwento tulad ng mga fairy tales at mga alamat ng kung ano ano. 

At habang tumatanda tayo, nagiging mas malalim na rin ang plot ng mga binabasa at pinapanood natin. May mga movies na ring nagugustuhan na hindi pambata ang tema. Natututo na rin tayong magbasa ng libro na hindi lang yung mga pinababasa ng mga guro natin. Makakasalamuha na rin natin ang ibang mga tao. Makakapagbasa, makakapanood at makakapakinig na rin ng mga balita at magiging socially aware na din malipas lamang ang ilang taon. At marami pa tayong mga mababasa at makikilalang mga tao. Hanggang makapagtapos tayo, makapagtrabaho. At diyan sa mga bagong mga impormasyon na yan naman manggagaling ang panibagong mga bagay na ating gagawin at mga salita at ideyang ating iisipin at sasabihin.

Habang tumatagal ay higit na mas dumarami ang karanasan, kaalaman at impormasyon na pumapasok sa kukote ng isang tao. At dahil dito, nagkakaroon din ng mas malawak na pananaw sa mga bagay bagay. Nagkakaroon ng mas malalim na mga pag-iisip. Kadalasang nagbabago na rin mismo ang sariling mga opinyon.  Tuloy tuloy ito hanggang sa ating pagtanda. Ito na rin ang dahilan kung bakit kadalasang ang opinyon ng mga matatanda ay binibigyan ng bigat kumpara sa karamihan. Ito ang dahilan kung bakit ang mga kwento na naririnig at nababasa natin ay madalas matandang ermitanyo ang ginagamit na karakter patungkol sa taong maalam sa mga bagay bagay. At kadalasan din sa mga larawan ng mga philosopher na kilala natin ay matanda na, puti ang buhok at mahaba ang balbas.  Siguro nga ay dahil na rin sa dinami dami ng karanasan, impormasyon at kaalamang narinig, nakita o nabasa ng mga philosophers sa buhay nila ay naging ganoon nga sila.

alam mo ba...si kuwan...

Ano naman ang alamat ng tsismosa? Naisip ko lang sa sarili ko. Pag wala akong ginagawa, wala akong binabasa, wala akong pinapakinggan, ang focus ko ay napupunta lang sa iilang tao sa paligid ko. Wala tuloy akong ibang maisip at maanalisa kundi ang ginagawa at sinasabi nila. At noon, hanggang ngayon pa rin ata, ay nakkwento ko sa iba ang obserbasyon ko tungkol sa ginagawa ng ibang tao. At minsan nakukuwento ko pa sa yata sa blog ko. O meron nga ba? Wala pa naman ata akong pinangalanan. Pero ganon na nga. Kadalasan sa mga nagiging bunga ng paglilimita natin sa sarili natin at pagkulong natin ng isipan natin sa iilang bagay at tao lamang ay ang pagiging tsismosa at tsismoso natin.

At tila ang naghihiwalay sa philosophers at mga tsismoso ay yung bilang ng mga taong naoobserbahan nila sa kanilang buhay. Yung philosphers ay libo libo o milyon milyon pang mga tao na naobserbahan nilang direkta o di kaya ay nabasa nila mula sa kasaysayan at mga kasalukuyang pangyayari sa iba't ibang dako ng mundo at doon nanggagaling ang kanilang mga nabubuong mga kaisipan at mga kwento. Samantalang ang tsismoso ay nagsasalita ayon sa direktang obserbasyon o kaya ay kwento lang din ng kapitbahay niya tungkol sa isa hanggang sampung tao sa kalye nila. Kung tutuusin, lahat naman pala tayo philosophers. Iba't ibang level nga lang. Pero isa siguro sa malaking pagkakaiba ng philosopher sa tsismoso ay ang pakay ng paglalahad ng kwento at ideya ng dalawa; ang isa ay kadalasang para sa ikabubuti ng marami at isa ay kadalasang sa ikakasira ng iilan.

At tingin ko, andun ako sa gitna. Kaya minsan, tunog tsismoso ako kung magkwento, at minsan naman ay para lang akong namimilosopo. Yun nga lang, madalas ko rin namang itsismis sa inyo ay tungkol sa sarili ko.

Dinosaurs are old, Robots are New (Godzilla wins and so will you)

I already made a lot of wrong decisions in life. I thought that quick success was possible. And that it could be done by riding on those attractive, new and fast-paced ways marketed by the so-called ‘experts’. These experts would tell you to just follow what they do. No need to ask. Just copy their formula and technique and you’re in for a zooming ride to success. It could be true as it happened to some. Maybe with sheer luck. But not everyone is lucky. Not me. But I’m blessed. And one blessing I have is an open mind to learn from the mistakes that I committed. And it makes all the wrong decisions I made bearable and meaningful.

Young energetic pseudo-experts who proclaim the modern and the new as the best, quickest and most exciting way to reach the top are the usual scenes we see in almost every field today.  And push further by bringing down and trashing the old ways.  Many ignorant and unsuspecting victims are easily mesmerized and enchanted by the “wit and charisma” of these messengers of the new age. Dinosaurs are out and the cyber-age is in, they say.

Godzilla vs MechaGodzilla  (Image:Wikipedia.org)

And the choice looks so easy. It’s cool to be a fan of the “rockstars” of their trades. Who likes to be left out sitting on a corner listening to the lectures of a boring old conservative folk?

But taking it from those who already reached the top of their game, they tell us otherwise. It’s the expertise of the old tricks, the basics and the fundamentals which brought them up to the peak and to excellence. Understanding the thing that they do and why they were doing it is what catapulted their careers to great heights. There were no shortcuts for most of them.

“I don’t care what you’re doing or what you’re trying to accomplish; you can’t skip fundamentals if you want to be the best.”- Michael Jordan

(Image: hoopthoughts.blogspot.com)

Modern is not at all bad. Being knowledgeable about new techniques is also great. But by doing it without tad recognition of its foundation, basics and history is a blind walk away from what is true and proper.

Reversing the Cycle of Appreciation

I always wanted to be recognized.  This could be one of the most basic emotional needs of every person.  To be acknowledged. To be appreciated. Like in this blog, I wanted to be read. 

Most of us spend a lot of time chasing some people's attention. But only a few succeeds and most end up feeling empty and unappreciated. It is not that we don’t deserve it. But like most of us, these people are just too busy to notice us. Too busy in trying to please other people so they will be appreciated in return. This makes a very vicious cycle. 

U-turn is allowed

So why not try to go on the reverse? By simply turning around, we'll meet those who have always been behind us. These are the people who believe and care for us all this time.  For they may also be just like us who's waiting for someone’s appreciation.   And that someone could be us.  And by reciprocating, we'll both end up happy, thankful and contented.

We are all interconnected in this small world. As we continue this reversed cycle, all lives on earth will possibly be touched. And it probably won't take that long until that person whose appreciation we had been longing for will finally turn around to notice and appreciate us.

So for you who’s reading this, thank you.  Without you I would just be talking to myself.  I value your spent moments visiting this page. And I hope that I’m able to provide value in return of your time. 

Quitters Win

I felt insulted and disrespected. Earlier today, I had my lunch alone. It is one time I enjoy during my days at work. I rarely go out with teammates during lunch. I just love the solitude. So I was alone until a group of former workmates came at the place. I knew only two of them as I usually had meetings with them during my stay at their company. And the others were just familiar faces. The place was full. So they asked if they could share seats. I gladly accommodated them as it was also a chance to have a chitchat with former workmates.  Then one of the other familiar faces said she didn’t know me. Then in return, I told her I recognized her as she’s someone who’s always on the registration table during events.  Then she asked for my name then she suddenly remembered me. Just my name to be exact.

So I was eating this

They were around 6 or 7. They seemed to be in a playful mood. They were the usual groups we see, joking around, talking aloud. So I was eating my meal then. I stopped for a while as part of courtesy. I talked a bit with the two that I knew. And at times the other familiar girl joined in.  They were waiting for their orders.  Then one of the two persons I knew had her food. She had a large cup of drink. I asked her if what she had was the large tea. I’m not yet familiar with the menu there as the resto had just opened.  She had a large cup at hand but I’m not sure if it’s the one that was in the promo ad at the counter so I had to ask. Then this just-familiar girl butted in on a sarcastic tone saying “no, it is not. It is the SMALL one”. Yeah, ok. We’re close, NOT. She did not even know me like she said. And she disturbed my solo time. Yet she's trying to make fun of me. Or maybe I was just not clear if I was referring to the promo. But still I don’t think I deserved that.

Okay, so they’re in playful mode. So I just tried to join their mood rather than feeling bad about it. Then I asked if what she’s having then is the “very small tea” as she’s holding a relatively smaller cup, almost half the size. There’s just a 10 peso difference between the prices of the large and regular tea as seen on the list so I had to ask again. But the reply I received was a sarcastic blabber. So I just shut my mouth. Then I let them do the joking among themselves. Then I just learned that what she’s drinking was not the tea but milkshake. So my question was indeed valid but she seemed to be disinterested with a respectful chatting.  I quit trying to make a serious talk with them except for the two I knew.

To quit is not at all that bad. It may also mean freedom. Freedom to chase the things you really wanted.  To do other things which were not possible.

Quitting does not mean surrendering your goal. It is actually a way to reassess your target. Is your objective to be the best employee in that company or is it to achieve a better life thru your job? Is your dream to be the best player in your team or to achieve your maximum potential as an athlete? Is your target to earn on that particular stock or investment or is it to attain financial freedom? 

Most of the time, we are blinded by the drive to succeed in every engagement that we do. Or by the motivation being told by the people around us which inspires us to push further to become better in our current situation. We usually get sidetracked from our main goal trying to work harder thru that particular medium.  

Your goal is to shoot that and win. Not to make good dribbling and look good.

That’s what most things around us are. A medium to achieve our end goal. But most of us end up simply trying to be the best in that specific medium. And then forgetting what our initial targets really are.  And we end up ignoring other possible and better options to attain our dreams. And we got stuck. And then it’s too late.

If quitting crosses your mind, for once try to give it a serious thought. Weigh things around it. Listen to your body, your emotion and your thoughts. They are trying to say something. Listen carefully. Think twice. Thrice.  And then choose. You will have two major options. First is to quit what you’re doing now while bringing with you what you learned from it and finding a better medium to get to your target. Second is to quit the blame game. It’s your choice to stick to that situation anyway. 

So I still had a meal to finish. I tried to excuse myself so I can continue eating in front of them. So the typical Pinoy I am, I said “kain”. We know what this statement mean, right? I just had to say it so I could excuse myself from talking and to finish my meal. Again, in front of all of them. Then this other guy who doesn’t even have a familiar face whispered loudly (yes, it can be done) to that familiar girl. He said “kain daw”. I knew what he’s up to. The coward's trying to drag that familiar girl to throw another sarcastic joke on what I said. Such a very disrespectful group. Well, the two I knew didn’t join in. They showed courtesy.

Somehow, it made me feel good that I quit my former job. Not that I have anything bad to say about it.  I actually had a great time with them and leaving it was a big decision for me. I learned and gained a lot from my stay there. It’s just that if I didn’t quit, I could have been assigned to lead this bunch of disrespectful people.  Well, it’s actually better for them that I quit. If they only knew what I was like back then. They were lucky. And good thing for me that I changed. For the better. I hope so.