8 Valuable Lessons from Being Betrayed

I’d been betrayed so many times. As hard as they were when they happened, I was able to get out of them alive. I can still clearly recall some of those betrayals that happened to me in details.

One instance that had etched deeply in my memory was when I was accused of stealing a classmate’s money.  He was a seatmate. I never thought that I would become a suspect as I never had a record of doing such deed.  I never stole money in my whole life nor ever thought of it.  But then, I was accused of doing it. People were talking at my back. Well, not really at my back for some as I heard those who were speaking loud enough for me to hear it. I knew that they were talking about me.  I couldn’t speak back as they were not talking to me directly.  

They never gave me the chance to defend myself. I just kept it to myself until somebody was brave enough to call me up and to ask me upfront. It was confirmed that people thought that I stole the money. Then this person told me that she wanted to ask me directly as she didn’t believe that I could have done it based on how she knew me. I was surprised and was thankful to have that call from her. It’s just what I needed at that time. I thanked her and told her that she’s right, I didn’t do it.  

I didn’t know what she did with that information. Maybe she told those people who were accusing me to clear my name. I never asked her about it.  Until the truth came out for the whole class and they discovered who truly did it. I never expected apologies but as far as I remember, I never received one.

It’s easier to forgive than to forget. I admit that I still remember those instances. All of those flashes back in my mind collectively when I’m being betrayed again. And with the many instances that it happened, I knew that these probably happens to all. There are just these lessons too valuable to be missed that make it worthy of being betrayed once in a while:

1. You’ll learn to care less about how other people think of you. You do good things and still some will think of you badly. So might as well do what you really wanted caring less of what pleases them.
2. You’ll learn to expect less from people. Expecting too much will just give you major disappointments and will ruin relationships.
3. You will feel f more freedom and enjoy more time working on things truly worth doing. This is in connection to number 1.
4. You’ll be able to spend more time with people worthy of your attention.
5. You’ll also realize that you should not quickly judge other people.
6. You’ll view life more positively because you will experience firsthand that there’s still life after betrayal.
7. You'll learn that people have short memory of their own misjudgments. Once you’re vindicated, people easily forget what they’ve wrongly thought of you.  Human mind seems to have a natural storage of mistakes of other persons and instantly cancels all that is positive. Probably, it is an evolved natural defense mechanism for survival. So it's better to move on when you become a victim of it than fret about it. It seems impossible to forget but you can always forgive especially when you understand this human nature.
8. You’ll learn to reserve and rebuild your trust (yes, you can rebuild it) with the right people as time passes by.

Regarding the people concerned on my betrayal story above, no worries. I rarely hold grudges. Most of those people who did that to me are still friends.  I forgave them a long time ago.  If some of you guys are reading this, don’t worry. I understand that we were very young then. We know better now. And for the person who called me up, I haven’t talked with you after we graduated.  Hope we can still have a chance someday. Thanks to you again. But it's a fact that the people who betray usually forget the act, but to the one betrayed, they will remember. But definitely, they will learn.

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