Find Your End And Mean It

Try asking children about what they want to be someday. Then ask those in their teens the same question. Then inquire also from the older ones preferably those who are in the working age. You'll probably get different sets of results. You'll get bigger replies from the young ones while getting watered down responses as age increases.

We tend to become more practical and conservative as we age. It's because we are more able to gauge what we are capable of, what our environment gives us and what's more probable for us to achieve. Doing so gives us lesser pressure but it limits us from maximizing our potentials and from all possibilities of succeeding in larger things. 

It's not unusual for some to lose direction while moving on with their plans. Most dreams have something to do about health, wealth, relationships and self-fulfillment. You need to work hard to arrive at these things. As much as it is difficult to succeed, finding the means to get to these ends isn't child's play. Having a good education, landing a good job locally or abroad, working on a healthy diet and body workout, etc, etc. These are your possible means. But for many, these means become the end because of their improbability. The means become the "DREAM" rather than the tools to reach for it. 

Are your eyes fixed on the target?

 

And for some, they are lucky enough to be able to experience these means. But while they're at it, they tend to forget what they are doing it for in the first place. Then they just do it until they get tired and bored. Then one day, they will get satisfaction just by saying they did it one time and totally forgotten the ends to their means.

We all have targets to chase. Sometimes we hit, sometimes we miss. But many times, people miss targets not because they are not skilled to do so but ironically, it's merely by not shooting the arrow. They just thought that the arrow is enough of a prize for them. Then they get what they deserve for such thinking.

8 Valuable Lessons from Being Betrayed

I’d been betrayed so many times. As hard as they were when they happened, I was able to get out of them alive. I can still clearly recall some of those betrayals that happened to me in details.

One instance that had etched deeply in my memory was when I was accused of stealing a classmate’s money.  He was a seatmate. I never thought that I would become a suspect as I never had a record of doing such deed.  I never stole money in my whole life nor ever thought of it.  But then, I was accused of doing it. People were talking at my back. Well, not really at my back for some as I heard those who were speaking loud enough for me to hear it. I knew that they were talking about me.  I couldn’t speak back as they were not talking to me directly.  

They never gave me the chance to defend myself. I just kept it to myself until somebody was brave enough to call me up and to ask me upfront. It was confirmed that people thought that I stole the money. Then this person told me that she wanted to ask me directly as she didn’t believe that I could have done it based on how she knew me. I was surprised and was thankful to have that call from her. It’s just what I needed at that time. I thanked her and told her that she’s right, I didn’t do it.  

I didn’t know what she did with that information. Maybe she told those people who were accusing me to clear my name. I never asked her about it.  Until the truth came out for the whole class and they discovered who truly did it. I never expected apologies but as far as I remember, I never received one.

It’s easier to forgive than to forget. I admit that I still remember those instances. All of those flashes back in my mind collectively when I’m being betrayed again. And with the many instances that it happened, I knew that these probably happens to all. There are just these lessons too valuable to be missed that make it worthy of being betrayed once in a while:

1. You’ll learn to care less about how other people think of you. You do good things and still some will think of you badly. So might as well do what you really wanted caring less of what pleases them.
2. You’ll learn to expect less from people. Expecting too much will just give you major disappointments and will ruin relationships.
3. You will feel f more freedom and enjoy more time working on things truly worth doing. This is in connection to number 1.
4. You’ll be able to spend more time with people worthy of your attention.
5. You’ll also realize that you should not quickly judge other people.
6. You’ll view life more positively because you will experience firsthand that there’s still life after betrayal.
7. You'll learn that people have short memory of their own misjudgments. Once you’re vindicated, people easily forget what they’ve wrongly thought of you.  Human mind seems to have a natural storage of mistakes of other persons and instantly cancels all that is positive. Probably, it is an evolved natural defense mechanism for survival. So it's better to move on when you become a victim of it than fret about it. It seems impossible to forget but you can always forgive especially when you understand this human nature.
8. You’ll learn to reserve and rebuild your trust (yes, you can rebuild it) with the right people as time passes by.

Regarding the people concerned on my betrayal story above, no worries. I rarely hold grudges. Most of those people who did that to me are still friends.  I forgave them a long time ago.  If some of you guys are reading this, don’t worry. I understand that we were very young then. We know better now. And for the person who called me up, I haven’t talked with you after we graduated.  Hope we can still have a chance someday. Thanks to you again. But it's a fact that the people who betray usually forget the act, but to the one betrayed, they will remember. But definitely, they will learn.

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