Monday, January 11, 2016

Leader's Apology

I still feel embarrassed every time I remember those mistakes I did in the past. Most especially those that I did while thinking I was doing the right and best thing just to realize later how shameful those actions were. Some say it's maturity. I think it's a curse though. Maybe I better be stuck into thinking they were right all along. Or maybe not. I don't know. I just feel bad about myself. Or maybe, more of how people thought of me. Do they still think I'm like that person now? Or am I just thinking that they still remember me? I hope they don't.

Everyone makes mistakes. Even Steph Curry takes bad shots. Or does he? We are all bound to do something wrong in our jobs and relationships. That's 100% accurate. The difference is our perception and reaction on that mistake. Are we always on denial? Do we always find things to justify it? Or do we accept and apologize for it? 

Don't be one

Leadership requires strength. Not only physical but more on the emotional. As a leader, getting caught on the wrong end could be seen as a weakness especially if it's a careless one. If you think you can simply hide it, then you're wrong. Your members would be the first one to see and feel it. They might be smiling at you but behind all of that is them thinking that you could have done better. But it's not the end of it. What your followers are looking for is your reaction after that blunder. They listen to your words. Some take it to the heart. They won't bother a lot if you make a mistake. But they would if you do something opposite of what you say. Much more if it's obvious that you are just trying to cover up something. They can smell hypocrisy from a mile. More than anything, that's the worst thing you could do. Just stop. Accept the mistake. Apologize. Make amends. Correct what could be corrected and learn from what you couldn't. Apologizing is strength. And leaders must be strong even when he's wrong.

If given the chance, I would like to apologize for those who I did wrong. Sometimes I can't sleep at night wondering if they are still angry at me. Or maybe laughing thinking how stupid I was. Maybe I'll reach out to some of them soon. Then I'll say sorry then they'll say I'm forgiven. But they could also say "huh?!?". That's more likely. So I'll just stop, move on with my life and try to avoid doing the same mistakes in the future.

Sunday, December 20, 2015

That Thing Called Elections

For the better of for the worse part, entertainment is a huge part in the daily lives of Filipinos. No matter how serious some matters are, we still see things in a lighter mode. Though we also have that onion-skinned reputation around the globe, we still can't miss those opportunities of making fun of any thing even ourselves.

For example, election is far and it's so early to support particular candidates. But the fiesta-like mode and showbiz type bickering of candidates and their supporters started this early. Yes, it's illegal to campaign prematurely but no one's complaining about it, right? I don't know.

I promise myself though not to get caught by all the drama and get entangled in the battle of personalities rather than of ideas and platforms. I'm just so happy that the election is still months to go because I don't know who to vote for yet. But, I could share the things I would like to see my future leaders are advocating and this would be my basis in choosing my candidates.

- Freedom of information Law
- Anti-political Dynasty Law
- Laws that will honour and respect the dignity and authentic rights of the Filipino people most especially the poor and the marginalized
- Improvement of taxation
- Upholding the country's sovereignty and unity under the constitution

I may not see a candidate promoting all of them but will definitely support anyone who will advocate the first two of this list which bring a lot of pain to this country due to their non existence. We need to think of "what" the country needs first before the "who".

It's the right of every citizen to discuss, criticize and talk about the candidates and the elections in general. It's also our right to laugh about what's happening in the country. I'm also entertained by this. It's better than WWE. Laughing is good for the health.  Try doing it always. Just make sure that after all of these festivities and merriment, we are not the ones who are the laughingstock

Friday, December 4, 2015

Digong Duterte and Lebron James

Duterte's presidential ambition is comparable to Lebron James' campaign on being the NBA's Greatest of all Time. Both of them have the right skills, experiences, talents and capabilities to reach their respective summits. While the public's perception of their blunders, antics and character are their weaknesses. 

But the biggest hurdle for both is not themselves but their not so few fanatics who arrogantly think that their idols can do no wrong. They would even twist the obvious lapses to become their heroes' assets to the point of pushing away people who don't feel indifferent from them in the first place. They know no tolerance nor respect. But somehow I understand their feeling of being oppressed by how the media portray their idols. But the problem is the more they talk, both lbj, duterte and the fanatics, the more they are dragged down.

I have a Lebron jersey given by a friend who knew how I liked this player very much on his younger years. I am also for a Duterte's federalism and disciplinarian type of government that I'm a vocal ChaCha supporter. But still I have a lot of things to disagree about their game and character. But I dont hate LBJ and Digong. I don't even think they are what most people think they knew about them. I just dont see them inspiring that much good from the people which both come in their aspired positions. Compare them to the current considered GOAT Michael Jordan and the likes of Magsaysay, Quezon and other admired former state leaders. 

I can say that because I can see that. I was unfriended by an lbj fan just because of disagreeing on a discussion about who's the better baller now between Curry and James. Sportsmanship out of sports, anyone? And then some Digong fans who seem not to care if they hurt people by blurting exlpletives and insults towards others just because they aren't supporting him. And it is unique with Digong's candidacy that he and some of his supporters are vocal in pushing for obviously unlawful things like extra judicial killings, threatening freedom of religion and freedom of speech, etc. Who will tell those kids who idolize him that these are wrong? Respect and freedom out of politics and justice, anyone? 

And no, I aint a kobe fantard nor an undisciplined corrupt candidate supporter, both of which are the kneejerk tag to non lbj and digong supporters respectively. I dont have a presidentiable in mind yet and im a big Spurs fan. 

We all agree that leadership means action. I admire Digong and LBJ's accomplishments. They are probably one of the best in their fields. But leadership is not just about what you do but also of how you bring out the best from your people. We can't just ignore this detail because a leader can only do so much to change a lot of things and his followers are responsible for a bigger chunk. I am not saying that they are bad examples. But based on how their followers act towards other people in their defense, many can say that they aren't also good ones. And the challenge is for them to prove us that it is wrong. 

But for sure, some will get angry and will approach this post angrily as a "blasphemy" against their idols. Reasoning, anyone? But I hope, this isn't the case for everybody.

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Political Correctness as the Enemy's Ally

You may try to put the flowers in your statement and make things look and sound beautiful while trying to reach that ideal world that you've been dreaming of. Everything should be equal by your views. And by that, you think that every thing's the same as well, may it be ideologies, beliefs, culture, tradition, norms. And people do that to the point of trying to make players on a two sided conflict look ignorant by making it sound that they are fighting over something which is not relevant. 

And by doing so, it hurts even the one who is trying to protect you from the real enemy by making others who believed in your words turn on him while the opposite side who's trying to hurt him and in essence including you isn't affected in any way nor listening to what you are saying. On which, it shows that you aren't on a neutral ground but in fact helping the bad side.

Political correctness is the art of giving away your rights to defend your self while receiving all the hits and attacks of the bully enemy and protecting his rights to do so, all thru the way of word play.

Monday, November 23, 2015

Modern Feminism's Worst Fruit

The worst fruit of modern feminism in our world today is that a lot of women are reacting similarly to two extremely opposite character of the male gender, chivalry and male chauvinism. Of course, no one wants a man who thinks his gender put him automatically on superiority over all the women around him

But with the gentlemen, for these modern feminists, these behaviours which were once norms are considered sexist. What men can do, women are capable as well. So assistance that weren't asked for is offensive. You don't need to help them open doors, guide them upstairs, give them seats on trains and buses, etc. By doing so, they would take it as if you think of them as weak.

And some are wondering where have all the gentlemen gone. Well, they are around, confused and don't know what to do and how to behave like a man any more. As for the rude guys, well, they are still around. Why, do we expect them to respect the modern feminist views and change their bad ways?

Saturday, October 31, 2015

The Son or Daughter Shapes The Father

Becoming a father is a great feeling and experience. But what I realized by having two kids with different genders is that a son and a daughter have so different impacts to how you act as a father. Or maybe just for me, I'm not sure. Let me know if you can relate to this.

When my wife gave birth to our first born, Mik, it felt like I was looking at myself. I wondered what I was like when I was at his age and size. Then I thought about my silliness when I was young and the mistakes, failures and heartaches that I experienced which made me into who I am now. I am torn between shielding him and from hoping him to experience them but with the proper guidance. I wanted him to be better in all aspects while not forcing him to do things he does not like. It's like the stereotyped disciplinarian father with high expectations on his eldest son became me. And I don't want to be much like that so I control myself. But at times, the disciplinarian in me shows up which I try to balance with a show of care and affection that some dads are embarrassed to do with their sons.

Then came our daughter, Kayla. I saw the extremes of me. The softest of me while carrying her in my arms and the hardest of me at the same time who's ready to protect her from bad external forces. I've been over protective while being the spoiler by trying to give her whatever she asks for. And in her, I see the two most important women in my life, my mom and my wife. Combine that and she's Kayla. So I'm afraid of what I could do if anyone tries to do something bad to her.  So the other stereotype, the overprotective dad to his daughter, it also became me. 

It seems that these generalizations of dads are true. We will not be able to understand it until we become it. And we won't become it unless we have children.  We laugh at these characters until we realize we are already like them. And we laugh and understand that we are like them simply because of one reason. Love.

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Everybody's Getting an Award

I got knocked out when I was in Grade 2.  A big older bully from another section punched me on the face. I did not know what happened and why he punched me. What I remember is that I fell backwards after he landed his fist on my face. I went there because I was asked by my teacher to give this document to their adviser and unfortunately she was not there and then that thing happened. I did not tell my teacher about it but my mom noticed the crack on my lips when I got home then I told her what happened. Then I cried. Then she went to my teacher the following day which then talked to the bully's class advisor about what he did. I can't remember what happened next.

It was also the last time I was given a first honor award at school. After that year, I still was able to get some academic awards. There were 23 sections so being part of the pilot section was already an achievement, what more when you get to the honor roll. There were few recognitions given at that time every end of school year. The honor roll and some "best in subjects" awards. There was prestige, but I never thought about it really at that time.

But compared to what we see now, almost everyone at school gets an award. You can even see on your social media feeds that all parents are posting their kids' awards. 

This ain't limited to school. Even on other things, everyone seemed to be getting an award. If there are no awards existing for someone, they will create him a new one. And award giving bodies are also sprouting like mushrooms. Before, schools are begging for recognition from the industry leaders. Now, it's the schools who are the one giving awards to industry leaders. Like in media for example. Professional and veteran newscasters are chosen and given commendations by students who haven't even completed their studies yet about the field of these personalities whom they are giving recognition.

Then there are competitions where mere participation were given awards and prizes. No one's going home empty handed nowadays.

Everyone's a winner, so it seems. No one's losing. No one's failing. But the problem with this set up is on how we truly appreciate winning without knowing what it's like to lose.  It's like talking about darkness when light is the only thing you experience since birth. Another danger that we are playing with this thing is by making the young ones feel that awards and recognitions are rights rather than privileges for the few who worked harder and better than the rest of them. I think some of us can say we are already reaping its fruits in the workplace.

And the irony that award giving bodies and the award itself gain more prestige and mileage than the awardees is a big irony . Like what happens when mere students are the ones making criteria for recognitions to be given to people whom in the present they are only just dreaming to work for.

For sure, there will be comments or reactions like "these awards aren't important though later on in your life" and "you can't use this awards when you're working, etc". I agree with you. But that's not the point of this write up. Let's all admit that awards have impact on people's confidence and behavior later in life. They are meant to foster a competitive environment that will motivate people bring out their best. It also gives satisfaction to those who made it. But due to the "mass production" of it, it seems to lose its meaning and purpose, and actually defeating it.  People are becoming soft and whiners because of it. A lot feels they are entitled to get one without doing much effort because everyone seems to be getting some anyway.  Everybody's getting an award. Awards are dead.

If I could give an award to that guy who punched me before, I'll give him the heaviest fist award. He was the only person who was able to knock me out from all the fist fights I went through when I was young. I can still feel the impact up to this day.  I hope to meet him again soon. I hope he's not yet dead.

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