My Past, Present and My Kids' Future

I did not see myself where I am now 5 years ago. I knew that I'll be married. I was planning it. My wife, who was my girlfriend then, didn't know yet. I just told her when I proposed that same year later. Maybe she thought at first that I didn't have plans. I couldn't blame her. Going back to the present, I have my wife here with me and our two energetic kids. 

Going forward to the future, I don't know if my kids would plan to marry someday. They can choose not to. But if they do,  I only have one advise for each of them in choosing who they should marry someday.

For my son, pick someone who is like his mother. And for my daughter, choose someone who is far better than her father. If they can follow these advice, I'll be happy.

Advice is Additional Eyes

I'm not good in giving advice. The evidence are those people who ask it from me and then did not follow it. That's why in the recent, when someone asks me for advice, I just tell them that the fact they are asking me about it they know that they need to do something. And that they already know what that "something" is.  And since they are the ones who know the circumstances, then their judgement is better than mine.

Always the case.

Though there are cases that they are very clouded by their personal biases and deep emotions. So I still say a thing or two but I just leave it to them.  Truth is even if I push my advice on them and tell them specifically what to do, it's still up to them if they will do it or not but this time, they'll be more on the defensive end instead of contemplating about it if you don't force them the situation. Though of course there are still those who are honest in requesting for my advice and which I know them so much that I'm aware that their situation is keeping their view away from the best options available for them. But in majority, people who ask for advice already know the answer but they are just afraid to do it. What they really want is not an advice but an approval of others.   

The difference in how I give advice to people depends on how much visibility I have with their situations.  But there are no definite measurement. I might be able to give my thoughts on someone I only meet online but not be able to comment on a problem of someone I know for decades. It still depends on how much information I have. Advice are also opinions that the quicker it is delivered, the less sane it is expected to be. Though sometimes, the more sane thing to do is not to give it but rather to guide them to their best choice. Asking for advice is asking for additional eyes. Because it's either you can't see what the best thing to do is or you can see it but it's just you're blinded which one is good and which is not.



But if you want to ask me about my thoughts on your current problem, issue, situation, you can always give it a try. I would love to receive and answer them. You can tweet me about it via @ignoredgenius (follow me first), post or message me on my Facebook page The Ignored Genius (and please like it) or send me an email at theignoredgenius@gmail.com. Let's give it a shot.