There was a time that I had been so paranoid. This was when
I became sickly. I was always thinking that I would die anytime soon. Then there
were news about bombings everywhere. And I frequently saw those pickpockets
doing their thing just in front me. One time, I was a riding a fully loaded bus
from Greenhills going to Cainta. I was standing. Then I saw this short fat guy
in front of me trying to take something from the bag of a lady who was standing
beside him.
He noticed that I was looking at what he was doing. Another middle-aged
man just beside him who I thought was with him gave me the stare trying to warn
me to stay quiet. But I didn’t. I did make some noise and movements to take the
attention of their prospected victim. I was successful and they were not able
to take anything from the woman. And I was stupid doing that since I didn’t
know who else was with them or what they might have done to me.
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| Ingat sa Mandurukot |
Good thing there are other people on the bus that seemed to
be vigilant as well and probably they felt that. Unsuccessful, they shouted at
the driver to stop. I helped them by saying “Ma, para daw”. And they left the
bus quietly but not without another stare at me while saying “wala na tayo
magagawa dyan”. They were angry. And I was smiling at them while I was facing
them as they walk towards the bus exit. I was also nervous since they might do
something like poking me with a knife or anything to hurt me. I was prepared to
defend anyway. I put my big bag in front of me and positioned my leg for a
quick kick if ever they tried to go near me. But they didn’t and I was lucky. I
could be dead now.
Moving forward, things didn’t change that much. I’m not that
sickly anymore but I can’t say I became healthier even though I’m trying to.
The news is still the same or even worse, actually. And we hear more bad elements
roaming around preying on innocent people. Same stuff. Worse stuff. One thing
that’s better though is I’m less paranoid. I try not to think of what might
happen. I just savor and enjoy what’s happening. Since now is what’s important.
Now matters. Now is real. Now is NOT the RIGHT time but it is the ONLY time. What might be is just all in the mind.
